Teaching Children Mental Strength
For children, the road to good mental health starts young.
Life features a myriad of challenges. Even for adults, these challenges can pose great risks to the wellness and happiness of an individual as they encounter various failures, ending relationships, loss and grief, and a host of other difficult events. Cultivating mental strength helps kids learn to overcome those challenges, then carrying the tools into adulthood.
But mental strength doesn’t mean 100% perfection or cheerfulness at all times. In fact, teaching mental strength may mean helping kids navigate negative emotions as opposed to fighting them or denying them.
Examples of this include sticking to limits/rules despite crying or tantrums, validating the child’s feelings, and not dismissing them, but also not getting in the way of natural consequences. If a child forgets their equipment for afterschool sports, say, perhaps consider letting them learn from the events that play out instead of coming to their rescue.
In addition to handling negative feelings and circumstances, mental strength is dependent on a cultivation of inner positivity. This can come about through teaching them ways to build positive self-talk habits or making mental health maintenance a family routine.
Here are a few tips from Dr. Bregman for kids’ mental strength:
Teach them mantras: Self-talk can build confidence, and good self-esteem not only makes kids feel good about themselves but also feels more secure. One way to approach self-talk is through mantras. Saying phrases like “I choose to be happy today” or “All I can do is my best” have a positive effect on the mind encouraging self-acceptance and empowerment.
Embrace adaptation: Covid provided a crash course in this. Kids went from school everyday and hanging out with friends, to isolation and virtual classes. Change is inevitable. Both adults and kids who are adaptive, are more prepared to deal mentally with new/unexpected life circumstances. Being able to talk about the experience and process the emotions is important.
Learn when to say NO: It can take some courage to turn down somebody, especially a friend or teacher (or boss or partner, etc. This problem also affects adults!) Kids may worry about losing friendships or getting in trouble. But the truth is, people can only do so much before life becomes stressful. Teaching kids to say no in kind but assertive ways can be helpful, like “Thanks so much for inviting me but I have other plans,” or “I have to check but I'll get back to you.”
Teach to accept mistakes: Everyone makes mistakes. It’s a part of becoming an expert at something: we start as imperfect beginners before gaining proficiency at most things. This applies to everything from math to playing the electric guitar. Although a mistake is a temporary hiccup, there is strength in owning one’s mistakes. Instead of taking it as a reason to get mad or give up, instead explain to children how to acknowledge and learn from it.
Celebrate others’ successes: Some kids can easily get jealous, as children do a lot of comparing. Breaking that habit early on is vital. Teach them about empathy and cheering on friends and peers. Again, adults too have problems with this in realms like dating or the workplace. The celebration of others’ successes can be taught as a trait that makes the child happier with stronger relationships. It may just help them as they grow.
Persistence and resilience: People that are successful in life persevere, even when the brain rebels and tells them to give up. It's important to have a sense of getting back up and dusting one’s self off for another try. Teaching kids to encourage themselves and put some of the prior tips to use may cause them to rethink quitting a hard task, and instead finding new ways to problem solve or build a skill.
For further discussion about this topic you can tune in to our podcast “The Breakdown with Dr. B” available on Spotify, Apple Podcast, and other streaming sites as well as our website www.bregmanmedicalgroup.com
Bregman Medical Group has decades of experience treating children and helping them through a host of various disorders and life events. We offer online psychiatry and therapy with treatment available right on your device at home! Simply schedule at www.bregmanmedicalgroup.com or call 305-740-3340.
References:
https://www.businessinsider.com/raise-mentally-strong-kids-stop-doing-these-things