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Stressed? Try Learning Resilience!
Life comes with stressors we can not change. Relationship issues, wars, illnesses, and social unrest - these are tales as old as time. Humanity always faced inevitable problems, only nowadays we get bombarded from all angles by things like social media and sensationalistic news reminding us why we have to be concerned right now.
Although stress triggers are all around us, we can drum up qualities to see us through and put circumstances into perspective.
We’ve discussed resilience before here at the Bregman Medical Group in a series on mental toughness for kids. It’s as relevant now as ever. It’s one of the most useful qualities we can teach to children for their future.
Resilience essentially means to remain flexible in thoughts and behaviors when faced with life’s challenges. With resilience, we emerge stronger. We emerge wiser. Looking back on the hard times becomes less about reliving a painful experience, and more about remembering how we overcame problems.
Teaching children resilience looks different depending on their age. For preschoolers, a focus on family time, games, and make-believe can help them decode their feelings. For elementary age kids, it is important to stay honest and provide a safe space. This is the age when limiting social media and the news may become useful. As kids mature, resilience becomes more about giving them a safe place to discuss life issues and form new perspectives.
But awareness of a child’s emotions and mental health, at any age, is vital for a parent to help their kids relate to various hardships.
Parents benefit from learning resilience themselves. Children watch their parents, so self regulation is necessary as a role model. This requires mindfulness to recognize your feelings and understand your own triggers. Proactive and compassionate practices help reinforce a positive mindset for kids. Parents, together with their kids, can reach out to others in need and volunteer time to charitable causes.
Adopting a breathing exercise can even influence how children handle stress. You might consider visibly taking a deep breath before reacting to something bad. This will show the importance of taking a step back and not jumping to decisions/conclusions. When we view setbacks as opportunities as parents, the kids will most likely adopt this mindset.
Self destructive habits are a no-no, of course. This is an unproductive form of escapism which can also influence a child’s future behaviors. A focus on good parenting means self discipline for the parents and it goes a long way for developing kids.
In the meantime identify fears, stay breathing, stay mindful in the present, and quite importantly stay away from “what if” statements. Instead use “I can” statements. Remind yourself you can get through this. Look back and say I got through past challenges, so I can get through this as well. The mindset can be a gift to both ourselves and our children.
For more discussion please go check out our podcast The Breakdown with Dr. B available on your favorite streaming platforms! Join us as we sit down with a special guest to speak about teaching our children resilience.
Bregman Medical Group has decades of experience treating stress and anxiety for all ages, along with many other issues/disorders. We offer online psychiatry and therapy with treatment available right on your device at home! Simply schedule at www.bregmanmedicalgroup.com or call 305-740-3340.
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