Skill of the Day for Kids’ Mental Toughness: Perseverance
“One who succeeds is one who didn’t give up.”
“There is no failure except in no longer trying.”
These are quotes that have been used by parents to instill in children the trait of perseverance, or persistence - sometimes referred to as ‘grit.’
It’s the tenacity of being able to face failure, pick one’s self up, and keep trying until one achieves their goal. Countless successful people have it, psychological studies show its benefits, and it’s one of the most important things we can teach our kids. Along with hope and independence, perseverance is a hallmark of the positive developing mind.
It pays off in academics, social development, and learning basic life skills.
Childhood is a time of formative learning and with learning comes failure. Failing to tie one’s shoes or answer a math problem correctly may feel unpleasant at first for the kid, but it cements in their mind a determination to get it right next time. With an attitude of perseverance, that determination takes the form of interest and striving.
Kids can be dramatic and emotional (especially younger kids). This is when parenting may come into play: in a gentle way, encourage them to stay with the task and try a new way to get it right next time. Perhaps turn it into a game or a good-hearted challenge. As long as they don’t give up, they’ll learn the lesson of perseverance. And with that comes confidence.
Confidence plays a huge role with perseverance and it goes both ways: confidence will keep a child trying to succeed, and then when they do successfully meet a challenge it builds confidence. As long as a task has an outcome the child values, it has the potential to build perseverance.
How can we build the trait of perseverance in our kids? Here are a few tips to guide them on the path to growth and success.
Give them a hobby they like: Interest, care, and passion helps to build perseverance. Does your child like sports? Or perhaps they want to learn an instrument? It won’t be easy for them but they definitely see the value in achieving their goal. While fulfilling enjoyable tasks builds confidence, they will then take on harder tasks.
Give them practical challenges: Not everything in life is a hobby or passion. By giving your child chores and responsibilities it teaches them how to live their own lives in the future. Just like with enjoyable hobbies, overcoming these tasks can become like a game. The joy of practicing, repeating, and learning something through effort is invaluable to a growing child.
??3. Take failure in stride: Sometimes things just don’t work out and it’s important to not get disheartened. Go for a walk, change activities, watch a movie - tell them it's ok to take a break and that tomorrow they can try again. Remind them how long it took them to learn to speak, write, walk, etc. But they eventually succeeded and now they’ve come so far!
??4. Be a role model: Children look up to their parents. When you exhibit a positive can-do attitude, they’ll take the cue. Show them failure and persistence go hand in hand. This is even true for when the child gives up on themselves. By not giving up on them you’re showing them their worth, helping them build motivation to keep trying and trying again.
Bregman Medical Group has decades of experience treating families and kids of all ages. We offer online psychiatry and therapy right to your device. Simply schedule at www.bregmanmd.com or call 305-740-3340.
References:
https://www.schools4health.com/for-parents/childrens-mental-health-how-to-instill-grit-in-your-kids/
https://study.com/academy/lesson/teaching-perseverance-to-kids.html
https://www.today.com/parenting-guides/here-s-how-encourage-young-children-persevere-t177117